December 24th, 2013 Tuesday
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! It is Christmas Eve and my minions are rapt with excitement and zero listening skills. They are beside themselves with anticipation of the package shredding that shall begin in the am post visit from Santa. I hope they don't wake up at 6am again....
So have you noticed that those blow up scenes depicting Frosty, Santa, Rudolf, Santa loading sleighs, etc look like some horrible Christmas massacre has occurred during the day when the power is off to the blow up entities? I mean it looks like a crime scene and all that is missing is the tape roping it off! I find those things appalling due to that very reason. It is great at night but during the day they should go back into a Christmas present and be all neat and tidy instead of looking like some horrible scene played out that morning! Ok that may be a little macabre and I do not mean to make light of the past atrocities that nut jobs have committed last year and this one also. I just find it a bit creepy to drive past houses during the day with these things completely deflated and pitiful! Ok rant over I shall leave you with a poem....
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The kids ran crazy amok, driving parents out of hiding like grouse.
The stocking were checked daily, by Monkey with care,
And no one played nice on the video games or wanted to share,
The minions were restless awake in their beds,
Trying to catch glimpses of Santa with the eyes in their head,
And mama in her ratty t-shirt, and hubby in the buff,
The parents hoped to get to bed before 1am when enough is enough!
When out the back door arose such a commotion,
The outside kitties being attacked by raccoons were loud with emotion,
Away to the window I ran like a wild banshee,
I tore open the back door screaming at all the animals I could see.
The full moon was shining and the pine needles were a glow,
It gave a creepy looking view like a Halloween side show!
When, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a fat raccoon and 2 kitties fuzzed up with fear,
With two glistening eyes, and big fat head,
My veins filled with adrenaline and my heart with dread,
I ran after the fatty as the vermin near me came,
I called him all sorts of expletives, none if which I shall name.
Now shoo away you vermin, or you will get a pop,
If I find my BB gun, you will surely get a shot!
To the end of the yard, to the end of the street,
run away, run away, or raccoon dumplings will taste sweet!
As dry leaves fly around due to that warm front of a high,
Cause me to sneeze endlessly, and make me constantly cry,
I went back to bed, satisfied the vermin was gone,
I made sure the kitties were happy as it was getting near dawn,
Then I panicked and remembered, I had not moved the stupid elf,
So I got up again and began grumbling about the stupid tradition to my self,
Then what do I find sitting in the chair,
Wild eyed children with eyes all a glare,
I told them it was too early and to go back to bed again,
That Christmas doesn't start until at least 10!
But the children laughed and cackled like wild rabid hyenas,
As I used my stern voice, feeling like a candidate in the hunger games arenas!
I told them to leave, or all presents would be for nought,
Thankfully, they yielded knowing they had been caught.
I put them to their rooms, with visions of presents,
and I yearning for sleep without anymore torments,
As I fell into bed, with the last moments of light,
I heard hubby say, Where have you been all night?
:) Happy Holidays to all!
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