Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Poems...BREAKING NEWS: Santa and crew has been murdered...

December 24th, 2013 Tuesday

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! It is Christmas Eve and my minions are rapt with excitement and zero listening skills. They are beside themselves with anticipation of the package shredding that shall begin in the am post visit from Santa. I hope they don't wake up at 6am again....

So have you noticed that those blow up scenes depicting Frosty, Santa, Rudolf, Santa loading sleighs, etc look like some horrible Christmas massacre has occurred during the day when the power is off to the blow up entities? I mean it looks like a crime scene and all that is missing is the tape roping it off! I find those things appalling due to that very reason. It is great at night but during the day they should go back into a Christmas present and be all neat and tidy instead of looking like some horrible scene played out that morning! Ok that may be a little macabre and I do not mean to make light of the past atrocities that nut jobs have committed last year and this one also. I just find it a bit creepy to drive past houses during the day with these things completely deflated and pitiful! Ok rant over I shall leave you with a poem....

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The kids ran crazy amok, driving parents out of hiding like grouse.
The stocking were checked daily, by Monkey with care,
And no one played nice on the video games or wanted to share,
The minions were restless awake in their beds,
Trying to catch glimpses of Santa with the eyes in their head,
And mama in her ratty t-shirt, and hubby in the buff,
The parents hoped to get to bed before 1am when enough is enough!
When out the back door arose such a commotion,
The outside kitties being attacked by raccoons were loud with emotion,
Away to the window I ran like a wild banshee,
I tore open the back door screaming at all the animals I could see.
The full moon was shining and the pine needles were a glow,
It gave a creepy looking view like a  Halloween side show!
When, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a fat raccoon and 2 kitties fuzzed up with fear,
With two glistening eyes, and big fat head,
My veins filled with adrenaline and my heart with dread,
I ran after the fatty as the vermin near me came,
I called him all sorts of expletives, none if which I shall name.
Now shoo away you vermin, or you will get a pop,
If I find my BB gun, you will surely get  a shot!
To the end of the yard, to the end of the street,
run away, run away, or raccoon dumplings will taste sweet!
As dry leaves fly around due to that warm front of a high,
Cause me to sneeze endlessly, and make me constantly cry,
I went back to bed, satisfied the vermin was gone,
I made sure the kitties were happy as it was getting near dawn,
Then I panicked and remembered, I had not moved the stupid elf,
So I got up again and began grumbling about the stupid tradition to my self,
Then what do I find sitting in the chair,
Wild eyed children with eyes all a glare,
I told them it was too early and to go back to bed again,
That Christmas doesn't start until  at least 10!
But the children laughed and cackled like wild rabid hyenas,
As I used my stern voice, feeling like a candidate in the hunger games arenas!
I told them to leave, or all presents would be for nought,
Thankfully, they yielded knowing they had been caught.
I put them to their rooms, with visions of presents,
and I yearning for sleep without anymore torments,
As I fell into bed, with the last moments of light,
I heard hubby say, Where have you been all night?

:) Happy Holidays to all!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

76 Trombones led the big Pahrade..Falalalala...OMG it is a FULL MOON!

Wednesday, December 18th 2013

It is a full moon...and my werewolves are running amok... either that or there is only 7 days until Christmas and my wild Indians are in some kind of trance throwing caution to the wind along with rules and manners!

So I talked to Monkey's teacher on Tuesday and she was at her wits end as she said the class had been horrible all day. She hollered at them to stop talking and I about peed my pants it was so loud when she yelled. Then I chimed in on the hollering (it felt right at the moment) and threatened that the Christmas party would be cancelled if they didn't straighten up. We got their attention...for at least another 45 seconds. Then I go by today to see how things are for the party on Th and if there is any last minute instructions that me and the other homeroom mom need. They were wild again. And last night my two were so loud and at each other throats that I threatened to take all of their gifts back and would make them watch hubby and I open presents. Today, I see Monkey's 1st grade teacher who said she hasn't smiled all day! I think there is something in the water.....

The Christmas choir program was last week at the capital so the girls still have those songs plus other random Christmas music in their heads. But apparently the music teacher has moved on to the third and fourth grade musical in the spring and tonight I over heard Monkey singing Have yourself a Merry Christmas which segued immediately (seamlessly I might add) into 76 trombones...I had to stop and think about what I just heard come out of her mouth. I thought nothing of it other than it was odd yet normal for her and then Lawyer began humming and singing it and hour or so later. So guess what tune I have in my head right now....could be worse I guess.

We took the girls to see the Christmas parade last week. I can't say parade with a straight face. Lawyer, when she was very little, would tell us she wanted to go see the pahraid, like the word had more than two syllables in it and an emphasis on the "PA" with a soft h sound after it. We have a county fair parade and we took them to see it when they were little every year and they either laughed or cried depending on what apparatus or person was marching/driving by. (think fire truck with sirens a blaring...) So we decided to go, for the second time only, to the Christmas parade and we bundled up the..ok that is an overstatement. Actually, we screamed, PUT YOUR COAT ON WE ARE GOING SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW! We tend to procrastinate and then have sudden last minute urges...So we have a random assortment of items on as we decided we could go to hubby's office as it is on the second floor and on the parade route...and WARM.  Genius right?! It was like 20 degrees outside with a stiff wind. It was cold enough that if you were outside long enough you would get chilled to the bone. But the "pahraid" was not worth actually standing out side and watching the little event. It is sad really. 39 pageant queens, 14 political candidates, 3 floats with one horrid sounding band (bless their hearts) 2 marching bands and Santa riding on a pink fire truck and taking about 8 minutes. Ok, I may have slightly exaggerated about the beauty queens and candidates but it just seemed like there were that many to me. Not a fan of pageants....another day, another topic... We then got the bright idea to go see the huge tree at the town square that the town paid $130K for. (It is a bit of a sore spot for many since its lights don't work half the time...)We found a space where all the lights were working and had our friends, who happened to show up at the same time, take our picture. Did I say it was freezing outside? We were GROSSLY under dressed and like to froze our little hineys off. Fun time but not worth the frost bite.

Now if I can get thru the next couple of weeks without ending up on the most wanted page I will be successful. I have two kid parties tomorrow, an appt and a funeral at the same time on Friday (don't ask), massive clean up of the office on Sat/Sun as Father in law (FIL aka Gasket Man) is coming on Monday and our home office doubles as the extra bedroom when we throw the blow up bed on the floor. I am off all next week thankfully but trying to get to that point of relaxation but  school functions and work is about to kill me. And I am trying to get back into cooking b/c we ate out or fixed frozen meals for a week or so and I felt like a ton of bricks was in my insides. I felt cranky and sluggish and just generally sick. Not doing that anymore so had to get to cooking again so I watched my Pioneer Woman recorded episodes to get inspiration last night and today. Saturday I made her fettuccine alfredo with some shredded chicken and man o man was it good. Tonight I made GF fried chicken, roasted butternut squash, and fresh green beans tonight. Love me some home cooking! Now to try and not kill my offspring before the fat man in the red suit arrives...

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Migraines still suck....and Christmas party planning makes it hurt worse!

Thursday, December 12th, 2013

I have another headache that is wanting to go to migraine status...I have ignored its requests to do so...
I think with the cold weather, the fact that I have been lazy and have not fixed dinner but have eaten out, messed with my pill pack trying to see if my headaches were caused by the hormone drop, and just generally not take care of myself something has changed. All I can say is that they are worse now so I am not convinced that the pill pack thing is it. I just can't put my finger on the trigger yet. And having the girls choir trip tomorrow and Monkey's Grinch themed Christmas party next week I am about max on the brain stress right now. So all this "thinking" makes my head hurt worse, add to that  I don't feel like cooking and I do not have a good go to meal yet, and tonight hubby calls home to say running very late, microwave died a week ago (which makes reheating extremely challenging!), and this planned choir trip to the state capital and it might be freezing rain in the am....hmm did I miss anything? Gosh I hope not!

I read an article on the Facebook page "Eat Locally Grown" about headaches and I really need to watch what I ingest. I think I am very sensitive, along with Monkey, about what goes in my body and how it reacts to it. Monkey had her kool-aid lip again yesterday. Did not drink milk but may have had more cheese than normal but still not quite sure what caused it. And she has been very emotional to boot with sudden meltdowns. For her that is a huge red flag that a food is bothering her. For me I think it is short temper and may now be my headaches too as results. Just not connected all of the dots yet.

Anybody else just get a mental block about dinner? I hate cooking the same thing and I have several things in the freezer so I would have options but none of them sound good! And the darn microwave situation isn't helping either. And thanks to our wonderful weather last week, the shipment was delayed for at least 2 more days which could mean Monday! I need to invest in another double boiler I think...
So this party...I mean wow. I think it will be fun but I just do not have the capacity or the mental fortitude to wrap my head around it right now and honestly I am not sure I could ever! I am not the crafty type...unless you mean in figuring out ways to get out of something....then I am crafty all day! I had to coordinate all the party volunteers and the list of things the teacher wanted, which was long! And I still got it wrong! I am a good delegater but I am not a good organizer. And for sure the headache is not helping things.
I feel like I am speaking in slow motion today and on top of that some unknown language that people do not understand. I have got to get this dumb pain to go away. I heard peppermint oil was good but who has that lying around? So I have been munching on our large bowl of old peppermint sticks! And I really do not like peppermint things!
That is a nice mental image eh? Me wandering around with a peppermint stick dangling out of my mouth like a cigarette, slurring my words and staggering as if in a hangover from the med combos I have taken trying to rid myself of this beast! Maybe I will go stagger into bed now.....and hope not to choke on a peppermint!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Cabin fever....nah I like being stuck at home!

Sunday, December 9th 2013
I just found out that are schools are cancelled again on Monday. Friday we had a nice little sleet storm that iced things up pretty well. Then Sat night it sleeted more and then another storm hit farther south on Sunday and got the whole state shut down just about. You say Winter Storm Warning and all the milk and bread is gone in a 250 mile radius! I mean I would rather raid the squirt cheese and Ritz crackers if you ask me! I broke down today and made sugar cookies, well my version of snickerdoodles, my grandmother's refrigerator cookies (which are like a sugar cookie consistency), and chocolate rice krispies! I did manage to slow cook a nice roast and root veggies so I did good as I didnt have a huge bowl but dang if I didnt make up for it on the darn cookie dough! Bleagh. And now I will be home again tomorrow where I hope it warms up a bit more to melt off the rest of the ice!

I think I am dehydrated too, had a headache all day and my hands look like prunes. Too much cider and coffee and not enough exercise and water! I did manage to get hubby to switch my spin bike around with our dusty elliptical. I am glad we hung on to it b/c I plateaued in my work outs and I need something else to do. I spin hard for an hour and I don't sweat anymore. Plus my poor tail bone gets aggravated by sitting on it for that long on a pointy bike seat and causes me to have more headaches that are more severe. Not fun. So tomorrow I hit the elliptical. I am hopeful chunky here can get the fat burnign going again. Thankfully, since we eat so much better with beans, greens, and protein balanced I don't gain as quick. However, little weak moments like today with cookies, can quickly cause me to spiral out of control. It isn't the food but how I treat it and respond to it that is the problem. I know I am addicted to sugar so I try to limit my exposure without banning it entirely b/c lets just face it, if you ban something you want it that much more so you have to be smart and either avoid it or limit yourself where you can. Know thy weaknesses! Mine is chocolate.....and sugar. What's yours?

I try to limit my carbonated beverage to one a month, and my sweets to alternate things that give me satisfaction such as a Hershey kiss or something of that size and then eat it slowly. Sometimes I buy block chocolate and just break off a small piece. My trick is to not inhale whatever I have allowed myself and that rule went right out the window tonight. But it is ok, I will pick back up later or even tomorrow and not beat my self up b/c one day won't break my progress, just slow it as if it were a speed bump.

I have been really lazy here lately and I have about decided that I let myself indulge a bit too often after the Thanksgiving holiday thereby making me sluggish and lazy. When I eat better, I feel better. Just. Like. That. I want to bake though, as I always bake for the school and neighbors and I have been so weak from sugar intrusion that I have just avoided baking as I knew I would do exactly what I did today. Thankfully, I will eat myself sick and then I can pretty much avoid it for a while or pawn it off. This batch wasn't all that great so I will bake a few of my better items and then package them up and send them off to family and friends! The problem is I am running out of time. I wasn't planning on the kids being home tomorrow and now we lost two break days over the Christmas break and Presidents day. I am really looking forward to homeschooling because then I won't worry about weather or make up days! I still think there are more advantages than disadvantages at this point to homeschooling. We shall see if I still say this one year from now!

In the meantime, I have enjoyed being home with my family. We got the tree decorated and some reading done. The kids have both had to get on and pass (this educational game makes them go for a green light to progress and it gives them a goal to work towards) yesterday and today. Plus, they have both read books or finished homework that would have been due Friday. No idle hands here! Now, if I could just get the dining room table cleaned off so I can work on my Christmas puzzle....

Friday, December 6, 2013

Icemaggedon lead to cooped up house and the munchies... plus the post turkey bloating....

Friday, December 6th, 2013

Wow, are the holidays among us! I did pretty good and only gained 2lbs at Thanksgiving but then again I avoided the food, it wasn't all that decadent anyways (except the ham) and I walked a lot!  Plus it was stinking cold so I think I burned calories by just going outside for a few and trying to stay warm!
It has been a nutty week. Work is getting busy due to an upcoming audit of files, the holidays are looming closer which means party invitations and prep, food cooking, and charity donations for the kids at our local school. That and our weather was 75 on Wednesday and 27 and sleeting today, Friday. The sleet did not come down as heavy as they predicted or as long but it still was worse in some areas as far as accumulations as some parts of our yard got up to 2ft! It was supposed to be a significant ice storm that kind of stalled north of us dumping snow on the northern parts of the state but mostly rain and sleet on us. Unfortunately, it postponed a party I was looking forward to attending because it was at P.Allen Smiths farm. He is a wonderful garden and homesteading expert. Thankfully it was only postponed!

I had a bit of success this week as I was able to corner my new neighbor, whom I have actually known for years but who just moved across the street. I kept seeing her kids during the day so I finally asked her if she home schooled and she did so I picked her brain for like 30 more minutes....the poor woman! She was able to give me more direction on curricula and coops among other things. I was really excited! I have become a home-school nerd I think...

I have been in to reading about homesteading and about organic foods and the use of GMOs that I am thankful for my normal friends so I do not slip too far from reality! I find the info about food and how it affects us extremely fascinating. I have been able to maintain weight loss with not as much effort and see a huge change in both my kids just from eating smarter and healthier. And it really does not take that much effort or planning although I do have my lazy days where I just don't want to do anything.
 The girls have been going thru another picky phase and I have had enough. They are to eat or try whatever I have cooked (we are not talking about brussel sprouts or lentils here either!) or else. I warmed a spiral cut hickory smoked ham, purple hull peas, sweet potatoes, and a spinach salad with homemade dressing. I swear I can't find something that both girls like at the same darn time! I finally get one to like it and the other one won't touch it. I made both eat some or all of that meal last night. The lawyer had to choke down the ham, this is the girl that on any given day will inhale ham. She also did not like the homemade ranch. I thought it tasted fine although today it was a bit salty as I did not have enough buttermilk that the recipe called for and I tasted it and it tasted fine but today wow was it salty! I added a bit of milk to it and it was fine. My new rule is you eat it or your next meal is breakfast (unless it is lunch time...I am not an ogre!) I should have done this when they were smaller but I could not wrap my head around it plus I had my mothers voice and nagging in my head so I wasn't as tough as I should/could have been. At least now I can reason why and they understand consequences better although that doesn't stop them from digging in and refusing still!

I need them to be less picky so I can cook and plan better. It is very hard. I get so frustrated trying to avoid being a short order cook. Plus I have been hitting chocolate and sweets more and I have no patience when I do that and it makes me lethargic. I love and yet hate the holidays. I can't eat frozen grapes and granola and be satisfied like one article I read suggested! Bleagh. I want chocolate and desserts but in moderation. Unfortunately, most my hubby can't have b/c they are not gluten free, he won't eat on them b/c he does not crave sweets like I do , and the girls really do not need the sweets so what I keep for myself can be a help or a hindrance depending on my mood...and the time of the month.
In fact, I can tell it is "that" time b/c I am craving things more so than normal and that wonderful ham I fixed and ate on yesterday and today has me swollen up like a dead toad in the stream! My left shoe is tight and my ring is somehow loose and leaving a indention at the same time...wah?? Then there is this ice storm  thing...why do you get the munchies when you are cooped up? I mean if I was a pioneer what the heck would I eat? I am so glad that I was not around for the shear fact of convenience, now I would love the simple lifestyle and cooking but I like my stove and mixer! But oh how I could read and not be distracted by my beloved iPad. Facebook and my little games I play would not take away from quality reading or being with my family. Instead the electronic beast has wielded the power of distraction over me and lured me into its fold only to hold me hostage every night. I have so many wonderful books I want to read that I have half started around the house and car. I need routine and yet I avoid having one like the plague! Monkey does so much better when she too has a routine but I don't get that time to wind down at night like I so desperately need so I stay up too late and fart around. In fact, Monkey needs to go to bed b/c it is over an hour past her bedtime and she has already been in here rousting me off the computer. Better go play mommy for awhile before she grows up on me!