November 21st, 2013
Even feel under appreciated? Sure you have...you are human. I am feeling it this week. Stress for our family plays a huge part in that. One of you is stressed and says something very stupid or neanderthal like and you just go, "Huh?". I read once that no one is a victim ( now don't go arguing saying there are no victims, I am not talking about crime here but the joy of marriage). You each will say something hurtful or stupid b/c you let your guard down just enough to actually SAY what is on your mind instead of keeping it to your self. Or you just don't think before you speak. Either way it affects the significant other. And I have been doing and experiencing this a lot the past two weeks. I have to just speak my mind when appropriate and not full of anger (not the easiest thing to do) and let it slide. Now verbal abuse is different and that is not what I am talking about. I am just talking about normal healthy marriages where someone just blurts out something without really thinking about how the other will take it or perceive it. Today is one of those days where I excuse myself to as quiet of a place I can find where I will not be disturbed and do my own thing. My own personal time out. The perception is that you are treated bad or just feeling attacked when in reality you both are not communicating well and are lashing out with hasty comments instead of really thinking the situation and your thoughts thru. We get in ruts and set up expectation either from habit or from our childhood experiences and when we derail out of that rut, we get cranky and depressed b/c we don't take the time to be considerate. We let our guards down b/c we know we can and honestly we shouldn't b/c we chose to live with this person and we should respect each other and our choices. You just sometimes let emotion do the driving and that is never an outcome that will end well for one of you.
I will move on now...
So the Lawyer has taken to leaving us notes on things. Her first time was after the Christmas ToysRus catalog came in the mail.I always let each girl have a marker and a moment to just mark away their hearts desires. (Hubby and I used to do this with the Sears and JC Penny catalogs when we were kids. I cherished it when that thing came in and spent hours pouring over my wish list.) Well my kids do this too now and it just gives me ideas on what to get them and also what Santa will bring. (Yes we still have Santa b/c mommy still believes!) So I get the catalog back after both have looked at it. Lawyer has noted that she only circled 10 toys while her sister has marked 47! She tells me, and I quote, "don't get all the 47 toys for her mom"....note was noted.
Her second note was on a boys and girls club notice that was sent home. Honestly I think it was sent home in error about 2 months too late anyways but I didn't let her know.... It was a notice about sign up for basketball. She tells us...."Don't sign me up. I just wanted to show you the paper. p.s. Lets talk if I want to do this!" So what does hubby do but tell her the next morning that we had signed her up and he was getting her a basketball that day. She was in shock. Then she said we were supposed to talk to her about it first. He drug it on for a while and then I told her we were just kidding! That girl is WAY too serious sometimes!
I mean if you can't harass your family you will get bored!
It was cold and rainy today. I made chicken tortilla soup. Monkey loved the chicken but did not like it in the soup...go figure. The Lawyer had her obligatory bite, gag, swallow, and No Thank you comment and was done. One of these days they will find something new they like and I might drop dead of a heart attack when they do from shock unable to bask in the moment! I am making them try more things now. I am getting tired of being the wimp here. I have a cooking weekend/week ahead with the holiday fast approaching and I want them to try all of these new and wonderful food! I can dream people, I can dream.....
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